Friday, November 19, 2010

Coming Full Circle

We have decided to do it! 

The one thing that both Wade and I thought over 2 years ago we would NEVER consider.  Who does IVF (in vitr0 inferti!iz@tion)?  Most of the people we know that have chosen IVF have had medical reasons for doing so and we are just unexplained.  We both knew our path to having another baby may not be easy but we did not think we would NEED the help of doctors to have another child.  Or even utilize the help of doctors to remove eggs from me, let those sweet lil eggs fertilize outside of me and then transfer them back to me.  Lesson to us... BE OPEN to new things and know that life, that God can change or present you moments or obstacles that change how you feel, think and act.  I think we may be a little hardheaded because we had lots of lessons this summer.  Wade and I both know and have experienced how God can and will open doors and just because we are scared of something new and different, it does NOT make it a right or wrong decision.   I know I am no longer scared of having a miscarriage because I know if I have to.  I will survive and can get through it with the love of my husband and help from our family and friends.

Our decision to try IVF was NOT a decision we made quickly or without the thorough indepth study of research, MANY meetings and conversations with our RE's (repr0ductive end0crino!ogists).  We also prayed for doors to be opened and answers to be revealed to us.  Month after month after month of trying on our own.  2 years to be exact! Then the last 2 years we have lived through month after month of doctor visits, test after test, blood work, pills, injections and indepth through review of our medical history and background.   We have endured almost 4 years of infertility.  Four years of wanting to have a baby. Four years of hearing about numerous family and friends impeding pregnancies and then hearing about them having their babies.  Hoping that "maybe" we will be next.  Thank goodness I am not a jealous person (Thank you Lord!) because I have truly been thrilled for our family and friends and the little miracles that they have been so very blessed with. 

We will be starting this phase of treatments in Jan with lots of faith and hope as well as a ton of fear.  I am ScAreD of all the needles and blood work that will be in front of me.  How I will or may I "act" while on all these hormones is also another concern.  It's a good thing I did not know ALL the details to IVF before now because I may have run the other way.  But, the money is gone now.  The paperwork has been signed, mailed and delivered.  We think our prayers have been answered and it feels right.  We made our decision together so it's time to have a new experience.  Others we know have utilized the help of doctors with IVF procedures.  Some of those we know have had their one or two babies, others have one or several failed cycles.  We do not want to continue to go on and on but we know we want to give it at least one try for now.  It truly will be in Gods hands and we will take it one day and one step at a time.

No comments: